The First Christopher

[davidmorrocco]

I have a signed copy of the Book “THE OTHER SIDE OF MY LIFE” by D. Gary Deatherage. Copyright 1991. He was the first Christopher that Joan had to give back to his original birth mother. I had to really dig deep in my Joan book library to find it. Did anyone else read it?

[Admin]

Nov 21, 2020 20:36:36 GMT -6 davidmorrocco said:

I have a signed copy of the Book “THE OTHER SIDE OF MY LIFE” by D. Gary Deatherage. Copyright 1991. He was the first Christopher that Joan had to give back to his original birth mother. I had to really dig deep in my Joan book library to find it. Did anyone else read it?

I also have a signed copy of Deatherage's 1991 book (purchased from half.com). Below is my review posted on joancrawfordbest.com: www.joancrawfordbest.com/bookreviews.htm#Misc.


"The Other Side of My Life" is the 1991 autobiography of Joan Crawford's fifth child (the four "official" adopted kids being Christina, Christopher, and twins Cathy and Cindy), who was only with Joan for five months in 1941 before his unbalanced natural mother reclaimed him. (In the '60s and '70s, Joan continued to mention her "five adopted children" in several TV interviews.)

Author David Gary Deatherage was born "Marcus Gary Kullberg" in Los Angeles on June 3, 1941, the result of his married mother's affair with a neighborhood Sicilian liquor-store owner. Mother Rebecca decided in her 7th month of pregnancy to confess her affair to her husband and then give her baby up for adoption.

The adoption was arranged through private baby broker Alice Hough and Joan picked the baby up at Hough's home 10 days after his birth, renaming him "Christopher Crawford." After press stories about Joan's new adoption revealed the baby's birthdate, Rebecca figured out that Joan was the adopting mother and decided she wanted the baby back. She began a harassing letter campaign to both Joan and MGM, threatening suicide if her son wasn't returned to her. A disguised Joan, along with Hough, returned the baby to his mother's house shortly after Thanksgiving 1941. (Author Deatherage is circumspect about his birth mother's efforts: "In the end it came down to extortion. Rebecca never admitted it, but I think she and Kullberg [Rebecca's husband] had always figured I was a meal ticket. I'd bet she really didn't count on Joan Crawford returning me---that she'd receive some kind of compensation to keep her mouth shut. I was a valuable commodity during my days with Crawford. When I became 'returned merchandise' my value plummeted. My life was close to worthless, and as far as Kullberg was concerned, I was a liability and a candidate for the next life.")

The year following his return was hellish for Deatherage. According to what his sister later told him, Rebecca's husband was both emotionally and physically abusive, refusing to allow the baby in his sight (the child was kept in closets when his father was home) and, finally, throwing him against a wall, rupturing the baby's hernia. At that point, Rebecca gave him up for adoption a second and final time. (Though her pursuit of Joan and her son wasn't yet finished: In December 1944, when the press reported Joan's adoption of the second, completely unrelated Christopher, Rebecca forced her way into Joan's home insisting that this baby was also her son; she was arrested and subsequently placed in a psych ward for several months.)

While Deatherage here gives a complete account of his tortured earliest years (most memories supplied by his sister), they're by no means the sole focus of the book. Rather, as an adoptive child, this is primarily the story of his search for his roots. The Joan-chapter of his legacy is mentioned on perhaps 20 pages, with the rest of the 218 pages devoted to his equally interesting adult interactions with his God-obsessed itinerant natural mother (whom his siblings warn him about), his proper Sicilian natural father, his multiple siblings, and his loving and stable adoptive parents.

For purposes here, though, the Joan-related items are the most interesting: Deatherage meets with Christina Crawford (whom he describes as "radiant" and "much prettier in person") at her home and asks if he might have changed Joan: "It would have made no difference," retorts Christina. "My mother especially despised males....Just be thankful you were spared." On the other hand, he contacts Joan's secretary Betty Barker, who tells him, "I think you would have loved being Joan's son!...All you had to do was be a good human being, and I know you are, so I know you would have gotten along with her beautifully." He also quotes a Barker letter: "When she lost you, all of us were afraid to mention your name to her for years, as it was a tender subject with her. She would have loved to have known what happened to you...She always used to say, 'I had five children, but had to return one to his natural mother.' She always seemed to feel that you were hers too." Twins Cathy and Cindy tell him, via phone conversations, that Joan mentioned him frequently.

In this book, Deatherage says that while---given his feisty personality---he probably would have argued with Joan and had a hard time as a kid, his one regret about his past is that he was never able to meet Joan when he was an adult. His take on her parenting skills: "From what I can tell, she had some good intentions. However, her consumption of alcohol and work pressures often short-circuited those intentions. She had come from poverty and had worked hard for her rise to fame and fortune. Why should her adopted children have it given to them on a silver platter, without blood, sweat or tears?"

Deatherage, who seems to have turned out to be a well-adjusted, successful person (thanks probably to his kindly eventual adoptive parents), here gives a thoughtful, well-balanced account of every aspect of his sometimes-scary journey toward discovering his past. A fascinating, recommended read, not only because of the Joan aspects.